16 weeks!

How far along? 16 weeks
Weight gain/loss: probably up 5 or 6 now
Maternity clothes? Oh yessss.
Stretch marks? still nothing....im scared im gonna jinx myself
Sleep? still uncomfortable but not needing as much...
Best moment this week? BG feeling one of the babies move in my tummy and the flutters!
Movement: a little!
Food cravings: JELLO.
Gender: Boy and Girl maybe...hopefully confirming this on 6/15
Belly button in or out? Still In but its flat
What I miss? summer activities and beer
What I am looking forward to? my appt tommorrow
Weekly wisdom: you need maternity pajamas!
Milestones: feeling flutters

14 weeks!

Sorry followers I have been a terrible blogger. I will try and do better :)

How far along? 14 weeks
Weight gain/loss: up 4lbs at the last visit
Maternity clothes? Oh yessss.
Stretch marks? nothing new...so far.
Sleep? becoming harder. Im uncomfortable.
Best moment this week? well lets see....have really had a moment yet
Movement: little waves occasionally
Food cravings: Watermelon, Cheese, Pickles
Gender: Boy and Girl maybe...
Belly button in or out? Still In.
What I miss? Wine and staying up past 9
What I am looking forward to? Finding out definite genders and starting my parenting classes.
Weekly wisdom: 2nd trimester does not mean symptoms go away.
Milestones: 2nd Trimester!!

7 weeks.

How far along? 7 weeks
Weight gain/loss: not too much yet.
Maternity clothes? I am about to go a purchase some. I think my pants have about a week left.
Stretch marks? same ole ones that I have always had.
Sleep? I love it.
Best moment this week? HEARING my lil heartbeats
Movement: not yet
Food cravings: Cheese, Shrimp Scampi, Italian, poptarts
Gender: ??
Belly button in or out? Still In.
What I miss? Nothing
What I am looking forward to? Seeing them move and finding out genders
Weekly wisdom: If your symptoms go away...dont worry...they will come back with avengence
Milestones: Heartbeats!

TWINS!

Please grow babies! I could not be happier today! The Lord has blessed us. What a beautiful thing. Please stay with us babies...

Beta #1 Results...

HCG- 179.2

Progestrone 109.1

Good so far! Keep growing little bean! I love you! I have another appt scheduled for next Monday! Early ultrasound and all the other good stuff!

My Miracle

Please stay with us baby

Let's Do Something...

I need to keep my mind busy and organized for about a week and a 1/2. Because if I sit idle I am going to worry like crazy about whether I am pregnant or not. There was discussion of going to Prattville for the weekend. I kinda wanna stay home and get my house ready. A little Spring cleaning if you will. But I would also like to see Mema and Pepa. I also want to go to Nashville for the bball tourney too but I dont see that happening either.
On a positive note I feel pretty good. Better than I thought I would after the 8 days of injections and the trigger. Will this be my miracle month?
I really need some Clinique. And new make up. And I am going to start buying flip flops before all the cute ones are gone.
Ok this was a total rambling mess.

The Needle Chronicles

Im 2 days deep in the world of infertility injectables and I think so far I have gotten the better end of the deal. BG has done wonderful and been very sweet through the entire process. It's nice for him to be involved in some way. I dont feel so...well...alone with the whole process. 1 more night for sure of Follistim and then 1 HCG trigger but I have a feeling I will need more injections before I ovulate. By the time I am done with that though I will be a pro. Right?
Im doing pretty good with all the anxiety too. Very good if I say so myself. I have had a few moments but for the most part I am doing so much better. And that my friends is the power of prayer. Give it too God and let him have it. God does not want me to fear and walk around scared to live. Enough for now :)

Injections...The New Chapter...

So I start Follistim injectables this cycle. I am good mix of excitement and nerves. I really want this to work. But as always it might not. Oh and the best part- BG giving me the shots. He did really well the other day when the nurse was teaching him. I think he will do great!
Lately my anxiety has been at a minimum. Which I am thankful for. Prayer and petition works. Everyday I face a struggle of some sort but God gets me through it.
Gonna be a busy week! Brittany and Josh are moving and we are helping!
Love!

manolo blahnik shoes

I want them. Badly.

who knew...

That you would rather have a job pushing food to ungrateful customers then a cushy desk job. So much for a easy job at a car dealership. I hate this place. Even the person that got you the job that you have been friends with turn on you. I literally put in applications at restraunts today. I mean honestly its good money and I have done it before. And if I want to have a baby i have to keep a job NO MATTER WHAT. Infertility is exspensive business.

And in other news...Betas on Thursday. Maybe baby?

I wonder if they know...

My kidneys that is. My one obsession since the gout. I wonder if they know that I constantly and obsessively worry about them. That I worry about how often I pee. And when my back hurts...forget it...im in a state of panic.
Wonderful way to get pregnant huh? I know this is a step by step process but I cant help but wonder if I am never going to be calm again. Will my anxiety ever go away?

PCOS can kiss my ASS.

Sugar this sugar that. I HAVENT HAD A EFFING SODA IN A MONTH! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT UNIVERSE??? Dear Clomid- Thanks for making things worse. Dear Metformin- please go easy on my when I start taking you again. And thank you IRL FRIENDS for not giving a flying fuck. appreciate it.

All Clear!!

FINALLY! I got GOOD news! My HSG was great! The septum was repaired! All of it! I am so glad that I can put it past me and never ever have to worry about it again. I feel blessed today. I think things are looking up. I had a little panic this morning but nothing compared to what it has been. He saw a air bubble and I made him promise me it wasent a tumor. LOL! But I think I am finally learning a little trust. These are the best doctors in the SE, it doesnt get better than this.
I have been a bad blogger lately. I need to keep writing and keeping all the bad thoughts out of my head.
Love you all.

Menu Monday

Monday- Spaghetti with Garlic Bread
Tuesday- Chicken Puffs with Macaroni and Cheese and Veggies
Wednesday- Guad (Mexican restraunt)
Thursday- Chicken and Dumpling (didnt make this last week...made chk noodle soup instead)
Friday-Leftovers

Goin to the Chapel...

and she's GONNA GET MARRIED! I am so happy for my best friend! She got engaged on Friday and I couldent be happier! So excited to be her matron of honor...

I will find a reason

I will find a reason to worry no matter what. That has to STOP. Immediatly. I refuse to live my life in fear any longer. I have been to the best doctors and there is nothing wrong with me. General health wise at least. My gout is uncommon artheritis that will have no bearing on me living a full and happy life. I am just fine. I get colds like normal people, and stomach bugs, and yes even gout but it doesnt mean I have cancer, a failing organ, or rare disease. I am fine. I know in my heart that I will never get pregnant acting the way I do. Stress hormones are BAD. Babies don't like them. I will put more trust in God today, and everyday that passes from now on. There is plenty for me to conquer in the world and dont wanna go after it fearful. I know this problem will not go away immediatly. It will be a step by step process and I will have good days and bad days. Highs and lows. But I will do this on my own. This time I will do it right for the sake of my marriage, future children, and my own well being.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalms 118:24

Menu Monday!

So I am trying to be more healthy and cook yummy stuff that is easier for BG to take to lunch the day after. And I am buying groceries one week at a time instead of 2 weeks at a time. Im not sure if it is better or not yet cause I just started.

Monday- Shrimp Fettucine Alfredo w/ salad aand cheesy garlic bread
Tuesday- Homemade Chicken Pot Pie
Wednesday-Grilled Cheese and Tater Tots
Thursday- Chicken and Dumplings
Friday- Leftovers

Saturday and Sunday I dont usually plan. Sometimes we go out to eat or just eat ramen or sandwiches.

Saturday

Nice relaxing day. I had lunch with a good friend and then went to see the house that Joshua and Brittany are renting. Watched my Bulldawgs and my Saints bring home victory. 1 more till Miami! WHO DAT! Decided to play some board game and drink a little wine. I also made baked potato soup. Although it wasent very soup like. More "runny mash tater" style. But it was good. Maybe add a little more milk next time and it will be better.
The first days of "Im gonna do stuff I wanna do with or without you" has begun. I bought my $67.50 Rascal Flatts ticket and I plan on going with out my husband. I begged for a week but he doesnt want to go with me. Screw it then. Im going. Period. I will also be attending church tomorrow BY MYSELF (well okay Brittany and Joshua are going) but still. Sometimes I wish he would just give in and do something because I want to do it. But thats the man I married and I will never regret that for one minute. Just learn to adjust.
I also realized tonight that a half a glass of wine actually makes me sleepy. No ready to party or loosened up like it use too. Just sleepy. I think 2010 marked the total transition to full on frontal adulthood. Dammit. I liked it better the other way around. But it has it's perks. Sex,Shoes,Friends. Adulthood isnt a total wasteland.

Still no call.

Still no call from the RE on my betas. I already know the answer. I know Im not KU. Not yet atleast. But in other unmentioned news my FINAL INTERVIEW is tonight. Please God let me get this job. I am so tired of dealership hell. Its a big office job with a shit ton of responsibility but I am ready for it. I want it. Which is probably the exact reason I wont get it. But such is life.

Am I or Am I Not?!?

So I got the good ole vag cam at 7 am this morning. Which in some cases should be outlawed. She told me my lining was thick and on the verge of pregnancy thickness. Possibly saw a sac?! Or it could just be the oncoming of a horrific AF. Hot Dog. So even though betas were not ordered she drew them anyway STAT. So I should know by the afternoon. The waiting game oh how I hate you...

So it's 2010...

So I have started a blog. Why you might ask? A-I need a outlet seeing as my anxiety has gotten the best of me and my family thinks I am going nuts. B-trying to conceive a child with the love of your life has proven to be difficult. C- okay well those are really the only 2 things I have. Im not gonna give you a long introduction. I figure if you are reading this you know my backstory.

This will be about everything. Fashion, skin care (a new found passion),work,husbands,food. Yeah a lot of food. And of course infertility. I will probably curse a lot and ramble but... Im just me.